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EP #4 | Having Tough Conversations with Employees: The 3 Step Tough Conversation Framework

grounded hr podcast grounded hr youtube channel Oct 23, 2025

Listen to the episode here

One of the hardest parts of HR in small business is having tough conversations with employees. From performance issues to restructures, many owners avoid these discussions out of fear of conflict, legal risk, or damaging relationships. In this episode, Amy shares a practical three-step framework that makes difficult conversations more manageable — and even an opportunity to strengthen trust.


In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why avoiding tough conversations often makes problems worse
  • The three-step framework: prepare, communicate, follow up.
  • How to balance kindness with clarity during sensitive discussions.
  • The importance of written follow-up and record keeping.
  • How to turn challenges into opportunities for stronger relationships.


Having tough conversations is never easy, but it doesn’t have to feel overwhelming or damaging. With Amy’s people-first framework, you’ll have a clear path forward that keeps your business compliant and your relationships intact. As an experienced HR leader, Amy shows how the right approach not only resolves issues but also creates stronger, more resilient teams.

 

Resources & Links

Explore The HR Link: ⁠https://www.groundedhr.com.au/the-hr-link⁠

Free HR resources for small business owners:

 

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to today's episode. Today we are going to talk about the most avoided thing I see small business owners do, and that is avoiding tough conversations. I get it. If you have ever thought about walking into a tough conversation and your stomach drops, then you're not alone.

[00:01:00] We are all human and we should. Be having our stomach going to knots or have butterflies, all of those kind of things in these situations. But it doesn't have to feel overwhelming. It doesn't mean that you are less, you are approaching in a less human way or any of those kind of things. But I wanna validate your fear.

Your fear of these conversations is completely valid. There are legal risks associated with having these conversations in the right way. It feels emotionally uncomfortable to have these conversations. You're dealing with a human, you have no idea how they're going to react every time and.

I get it. You're concerned about actually damaging the relationship that you have built with your employees.

[00:02:00] There are so many consequences for having these conversations, so I get it. If you've avoided them in the past, you need to ask yourself the question, have I actually made it worse rather than better?

By avoiding these conversations. Today, I wanna give you a simple three step framework that is gonna help support you in these situations. Now, I get it. Quite often these conversations might be related to performance or conduct, but sometimes they're related to other things. They might be related to a major restructure of the business or a closing down of a business.

There could be many, many reasons why you have to have a conversation that feels hard. This framework is going to work in all of those situations. So what other steps? Prepare, communicate, and follow up. It's super simple, but it's these three steps that are actually going to assist you to feel confident and more calm in these situations.

[00:03:00] So prepare. How do we prepare? You need to get really clear on what the facts are. We need to walk into these conversations with the things that you believe the employee is going to see as important. Usually that is, how is this gonna affect me? So you need to have the facts around that. You also need to have what desired outcome you want from this conversation.

So are we, aiming to inform of a process? Are we notifying them that their conduct or their performance is not appropriate? Are we advising them that they haven't followed a policy or a procedure? Or are we, notifying them of an upcoming redundancy or something like that.

[00:04:00] You need to know what the facts are, what the desired outcome is going to be, and also what policies and procedures you have in place within the business that are gonna guide the process.

So make sure that you follow your processes that you've put in place previously. The next part of the process is to communicate it. So this is where you're actually having the conversation most often. This is one-to-one but I encourage you to offer the employee a support person. So a support person is a person who is there to listen and comfort the employee.

They're not there to speak on their behalf. They are there to support them and to. Provide encouragement or emotional support with regard to how you communicate. I want you to walk into that room with the understanding that what you are doing is a form of kindness when we are providing advice constructive criticism.

[00:05:00] You're actually heading into these conversations with kindness. It's actually gonna be unkind for you to not communicate these things. So I really want you to head into this conversation in a really human way, recognizing the impact that it's gonna have on the other person. I want you to use really direct, but kind language that is clear and respectful.

And that you stay as calm as possible in that situation. During these conversations, quite often, depending on how a person reacts, they can get quite heated. I want you to be not scared to end a conversation and come back later.

[00:06:00] It is absolutely okay to. Stand for yourself, or also stand up for the employee when they're not able to do it themselves and say, I think we are getting too fired up here.

I think we need to walk away and take a breath and we'll reconvene when it feels right for both of us. That is okay, we are human. We don't know how we are going to react, and you need to advocate for yourself, but you also need to be calm enough to advocate for your employee and what's right for them once you've had the conversation.

It's really important to communicate in writing afterwards so often. An employee is only gonna hear the first little bit that you tell them. Their brains can't hold onto anything more because they start to spiral. So it's really important for you to communicate that conversation in a written form that they can come back to later.

[00:07:00] This is also really important for your record keeping to record who was at the conversation, what was spoken about, and what the outcome was with regard to follow up. So that takes us to our third step follow up. If you have promised to provide some kind of support, some kind of process, some kind of check in, then it is your responsibility to make sure you deliver on that.

You need to keep the momentum. These conversations can be a turning point rather than a breaking point. You can actually build confidence. And actually build your relationship with your employee By having these tough conversations, you can handle them really well. You can have the hard conversation and you can build trust.

[00:08:00] You are also showing the employee and other employees, although we will manage confidentiality. We are setting a standard and we're setting a boundary of what's not acceptable within the business. So I really do encourage you to have these hard conversations because you will actually reap the benefits of this in the long run.

Now I get it. Thinking about this is super, super overwhelming. Having hard conversations is something that has taken me a very long time to be okay with. So what I've done is poured my experience and my knowledge into our people. First Performance Pack. The People First Performance Pack. Includes things like templates, email scripts, workflows.

There's supportive checklists in there. All things to help you prepare for these tough conversations.

[00:09:00] There's also letters in there with regard to performance improvement and performance improvement plans. There's so many amazing tools in there for you to use to make these situations and these conversations better.

I will make sure that the link for the People First Performance Pack is placed below, and I hope that this conversation and these key steps helps you to approach your next. Tough conversation in a more human and people centered way. Till next time, chat soon.

 

About The HR Link: People-First Conversations

The HR Link: People-First Conversations is the podcast for Australian business owners who want to manage their teams with clarity, care, and confidence. Hosted by Amy Christopherson, founder of Grounded HR, each episode brings you short, practical conversations that simplify HR and centre the humans inside your business.

Whether you’re hiring your first employee, navigating team challenges, or just want to make sure you’re “doing it right,” this podcast will give you the tools and reassurance you need.

New episodes are released fortnightly on Tuesdays at 7am. Subscribe now so you don’t miss an episode.

 

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Disclaimer

The HR Link: People-First Conversations is here to share people-first insights and education, not legal advice. Every business is unique, so we encourage you to seek tailored guidance for your own circumstances.

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